


Words Hanging In The Air

by NavajoLovesDestiel



Series: 1,000 Followers Celebration [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22776880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavajoLovesDestiel/pseuds/NavajoLovesDestiel
Summary: Canon divergence for The Trap, season 15, episode 9.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: 1,000 Followers Celebration [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1632754
Comments: 10
Kudos: 58





	Words Hanging In The Air

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my 1000 Followers Celebration. This one is for its-all-ineffable.  
> Love to my beta, katelyndeveraux.

The words hung in the air like smoke.

“Why does that something wrong always seem to be you.”

Castiel felt it like a shot to the gut. He turned towards the stairs.

“Jack’s dead. Chuck’s gone. You and Sam have each other. Maybe it’s time for me to move on.”

In his head, all he could hear was,  _ ‘ask me to stay. Please, ask me to stay… _ ’

Dean was silent as he climbed the stairs, opened the door and left the bunker, slamming it behind him. The pain he felt was visceral.   
  


Dean slumped against the table, watching Cas climb the stairs. He honestly thought Cas would stop, come back down…

The sound of the bunker door slamming cut through Dean like a knife. He knew he was angry, he knew he’d been unfair to Cas, but he just couldn’t help any of it. He felt like he was losing his mind. He couldn’t distinguish between what was real anymore or what was Chuck, just fucking with them.

Sometimes he’d wondered if Cas was even real, or just something Chuck thought up to screw with him. He wanted to believe that Cas was real, that Cas had always been there for him. If Cas was just part of Chuck’s game, he knew that would break him. He couldn’t come back from that.

Cas got in his truck and just drove. He had no destination in mind, he just wanted to be as far away from the bunker, from  _ Dean _ , as he could get. He never stopped until he reached a small town that seemed nice. He rented a cabin. He fished. He could feel his grace getting dimmer. His nights were plagued by thoughts of Dean. He never knew how bad a broken heart could hurt.

Then he had to kill a djinn. When he was forced to call Dean to confirm he was an FBI agent to the local sheriff, Dean’s cold response just told him nothing had changed..

Still, he knew he couldn’t avoid things forever, he had to go back.

When Dean saw Cas coming down the stairs, just for a moment he was so relieved he felt faint. Then the anger reared. He turned away.

Cas sighed. When Dean had to cut his hand for a spell, he healed it, but didn’t touch him. It was the first time in over fourteen years he hadn’t touched Dean to heal him. Cas felt himself die just a little more inside.

And then they had to go back to Purgatory. They actually talked a little about the rift between them. When Dean said, “You left,” Cas answered, “You didn’t stop me.” That at least felt good to say.

When Dean came to, in the field of Purgatory blossoms and Cas was gone, he felt true terror. He’d lost Cas in Purgatory again. It  _ couldn’t _ be happening again. He yelled for Cas but of course, there was no answer. And the blossoms were all dead, burnt. He’d failed… again.

He frantically searched for Cas, but time was running out. He headed for the rift.

But finally his feelings overwhelmed him, He stopped. He prayed.

“I hope you can hear me…”

“I should’ve stopped you. You’re my best friend but I just let you go cause that was easier than admitting I was wrong.” He fell to his knees, sobbing. “I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know it’s always been there and when things go bad, it comes out and I can’t stop it no matter how bad I want to, I just can’t stop it. I forgive you. Of course, I forgive you.” 

And when he found Cas, it all just burst out of him. He grabbed Cas in a deep, desperate hug.

Cas knew Dean was going to tell him he loved him, but there was work to do, things to talk about, so he cut him off. Not the time for that. Maybe it would never be time.

When they got back from the casino, Sam and Eileen safe but Chuck still alive, they sat at the table. Eileen was leaving, Sam was heartbroken. There was nothing to be done. 

After Sam went to his room, Dean looked at Cas.

“You stopped me. I was going to tell you…”

Cas smiled. “I know what you were going to say, Dean.”

Dean smiled a little. “Of course you do. It’s true, you know. I love you.”

Cas smiled back at him. “I know, and I love you too.”

It was going to be alright. Cas knew it would work out. Dean hoped it would work out.

This wasn’t the end.    
  



End file.
